Diabetes is not about sugar

A lot people think oh if you eat very sweet foods, you’ll immediately go into a diabetic coma, it’s not about sugar or fatty foods, it’s about eating in moderation and keeping your energy which is formed from your natural body sugars aka “Insulin“. 

If your body relies too much on insulin, it means your body is working too hard to break down your food into your digestive system making it harder to produce energy levels hence why diabetic people are normally very tired or feel weak a lot because their bodies are drained from their natural sources of energy.

How can you control your diabetes? 

When you hear “diabetes”, you automatically think “dieting” but actually dieting can be bad for someone with diabetes whether they’re type 1 or type 2.

All diabetic people need to eat regularly. The key is to sticking to the right schedule. 

  • Eat what you want but in moderation (I.E; You can have fast food but not every single day)
  • Do not have no more meals than 3 a day (I.E; breakfast, lunch and dinner)
  • Snack on fruit and vegetables 
  • Exercise as much as you can (exercising is proven to restore your body’s natural energy) 
  • And make sure you drink a lot of water but not too much, just at least 10 glasses

Following these guidelines will help improve or even reverse your diabetes. And make sure you keep taking your insulin shots or Metformin pills.

Your body can live without a spleen and a pancreas

A lot of people can live without a spleen or a pancreas but this will mean that you’ll have to take insulin injections and Metformin pills for the rest of your life and you’ll be diabetic for the rest of your life. 

There’s a proven fact that you can actually grow an extra pancreas, sometimes this is often confused doctors with Pancreatitis. 

What is Pancreatitis? 

Pancreatitis is when your pancreas is damaged, usually by inflammation and it can be either mild or very serious. 

The common symptoms are:

  • Stomach pains 
  • Nausea (feeling or being sick)
  • Diarrhoea 
  • Indigestion (bloating, heartburn)
  • Jaundice (yellowing to the white parts of the eyes and yellowing to the skin)
  • Swollen or tender stomach

If you have experienced the symptoms above, call an ambulance immediately. 

How do I know my blood sugars have increased or decreased? 

From my personal experience, the following symptoms are when your sugar levels are low and you’re experiencing hypoglycaemia :

  • Feeling tired or drowsy
  • Slurred speech
  • Dizziness 
  • Feeling weak
  • Hands are shaking 
  • Sweating a lot
  • Feeling very thirsty or hungry

High sugar levels are the similar but have a few different symptoms…

  • Headaches 
  • Feeling thirsty 
  • Unable to concentrate 
  • Vision impairment 
  • Wanting to urinate a lot
  • Feeling very tired or drowsy 
  • Feeling weak all over the body
  • Rapid weight loss 
  • UTI (Urinary Tract Infection)
  • Trush
  • Dry mouth 
  • Dermatitis (Skin infections)

Photo credit: Google Images™ 

What it is like to live your life as a hypochondriac

A hypochondriac is a person who has health anxiety, meaning they panic and stress over illnesses, diseases and/or even death.

Before I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, I had no idea what a panic attack was and most people don’t realise it but panic attacks can occur at inconvenient or inappropriate times so when I’d be watching TV or playing video games, suddenly I’d feel like I’m having a heart attack or I can’t breathe when really all my body was doing was producing too much adrenaline that I started breathing faster than normal aka “hyperventilating“. 

Since I started studying science at school and learning about illnesses and diseases and seeing adverts on TV about heart disease, cancer and life insurance, I became paranoid. 

I’m terrified of getting on a bus because I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome aka Myalgic Encephalomyelitis which makes me tired a lot so I worry I might get robbed or worse, raped and murdered. As soon as I feel sick or experience a symptom that is unusual, I have no choice but to visit the hospital for answers. When I have an episode of Tachycardia, I have to call an ambulance to reassure myself that I’m not having a heart attack and not going to die.

So what is it like being a hypochondriac? Two words: It’s hell. You’re constantly panicking and worrying about your health and you just want to feel safe and not suffer. It’s the hardest thing to deal with and live with. Health anxiety is one of the biggest problems in the UK for the NHS and I try as hard as I can to avoid being admitted to hospital, even when I experience tachycardia because a lot of the people in hospital have health anxiety.

How to cope with health anxiety 

There are many ways to cope with health anxiety. Firstly, you’re worrying that you have every illness or disease in the medical book, the best thing to do is discuss this with your regular doctor and have a blood test. A blood test can rule out a lot of things from diabetes, heart disease, arthritis to cancer, HIV/AIDS or any forms of hepatitis.

Your doctor can also order a full body MIR scan, this is like an x-ray except around your whole body and the scan images have further details. 

Try to study more on the illnesses and diseases that you’re worried about as this will help you understand how you’d know if you’d have them and will put your mind at ease. 

Have your doctor prescribe you multi vitamins and minerals, buy some Echinacea Goldenseal and do a lot of cardio workout as well as eating healthy as this will prolong your life.

Photo credit: Google Images™ 

I’m ready to let go

As you may have seen from my previous posts, specifically my biography one, I came from a troubled background, my past has been a painful one. I am going to be leaving all mental health support groups from Facebook, I think I’m going to be okay now. 

Life will always be painful after everything I’ve been through and there’s been moments where I’ve felt like there’s been no hope for me but I think I can survive this because I know it’s not the end of the world and that things will eventually get better for me, it’s just a matter of waiting and being patient and I think I can handle that.

I’ve realised that hurting yourself, being angry all the time and throwing tantrums or having mood swings doesn’t get you anywhere. Like I said in my post about self-harm, I regret because yes it may feel like numbing away those emotions for you but it’s only just temporary and later on you’ll find yourself back in square one feeling that same awful feeling and you’ll just go back to that awful habit again and it’s actually a vicious cycle that we should break ourselves from. 

This is big but it’s a huge relief, I think I’m finally ready to move on from everything that caused me a lot of pain, I’m ready to past the pass behind me.

What can I say? I finally feel free, I no longer feel depressed and I’m ready to live my life.

Photo credit: Google Images™ 

I didn’t know I was pregnant?

I was watching some videos on YouTube about people with a mystery diagnosis and in the recommendations there were videos about women who didn’t knew that they were pregnant. 

I think it’s ridiculous because even though I’m a guy now, I was actually born female and I’ve always been bisexual and so when I was a girly girl dating men, when I was in a long-term relationship, I was on the pill and the depo provera. Even with my last long-term boyfriend, I was still on birth control and I didn’t get pregnant, never. It’s probably because I was infertile but still, if you’ve been on birth control for a very long time, you shouldn’t get pregnant. Women need to realise that they shouldn’t start having sex straight away after starting their contraception, they should wait until it’s actually properly in the system first. 

Yes, of course you’re going to get aroused and they’ll be sexual tension which is why women should use condoms as well as implants, depo injections or pills or a vagina cup ect because there will still be a chance of getting pregnant when using contraception. 

But women should obviously know the last time they had unprotected sex. Just because you’re on a family planning programme doesn’t mean it’s safe to go and have sex straight away, again, you need to wait until the medication or the device is functional and working before taking the risk.

I can’t believe these women, a morbidly obese woman who was eating pizza thinking she had food poisoning, a woman with MS thinking she just needed to go toilet but instead she pushes out twins?!

It’s actually dangerous for a woman to push a baby out whilst using a toilet, all those chemicals from the cleaning products and bacteria from the feces, not to mention the water drowning the new born baby. There was already a case in China when a woman supposedly thought she “wasn’t pregnant” and a baby was found stuck in a drain pipe after she tried to flush it down. 

Honestly, uneducated women shouldn’t have sex. I’m so glad my mother scared me with pregnancy, after seeing women in pain giving birth, it put me right off +adoption is better, you’re going an unfortunate child a second chance. 

The woman in my dream

I’ve seen her before, I know of her but I don’t know her personally, we’ve never met, she keeps giving her heart, her love to me but then I wake up and she’s not there.

Is she asking me a question? Is she lost? Does she need me? 

It’s weird because it’s not real but for some reason when we were together, I felt happy and didn’t want her to leave but unfortunately my body and mind had to wake up eventually. 

It’s a shame the women in my dreams don’t exist, they are far more pleasant then the women I met in person. 

I don’t know when I’ll fall asleep again but I would love to feel her in my arms again, her beautiful face close to me, her soft lips touching mine, it may not be real but it felt real enough for my heart.

It was like that film Total Recall, Arnold didn’t want to come back again, he was happy but he knew he had to come back at some time.

Photo credit: Google Images™ (Man sleeping in bed)

Pride Blog 2017

It’s been 50 years since the law has changed and now LGBT+ people are finally able to live their lives as they should. 

Today I am going to share two stories from two people about their experiences. 

Adam’s story

“I first realised I was into girls when I was about 6/7, but as I had a very gender neutral upbringing at first with no one telling me how to live life, I never understood what those feelings were. When I got a bit older my parents got very religious and homophobic/ transphobic, so I was 17 when I came out as bi to my friends. At 18 I heard about trans for the first time, but I wasn’t ready to accept myself for who I am. At 19 I came out as a lesbian, and at 21 as trans. I’ve since terminated contact with my parents and live as a very happy heterosexual, trans man! 

Coming out as bi was a very emotional and tough thing to do, because I had to accept things about myself that I was told for so many years are ‘wrong’ etc, but at the same time it was the start of a healing process of learning that it’s okay to be different and so in a way it was a very empowering thing.

I feel so much more wholesome now. I feel that I’m able to express who I am as a person 100% now that I’m completely out, instead of having to hide parts of ‘me’ all the time and putting on this facade of pretending to be someone I’m not.

I think life is always going to be full of struggles, in one way or another, so it would be wrong of me to say that I haven’t.”

Adam also has something special to say towards the people out there who struggling with life and the younger generation of the LGBT+ community. 

“My advice is this quote from A A Milne: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” If you know who you are, no matter who stands in your way to becoming that person – never give up, never let anyone stop you. For some people it’s a tough journey, filled with many bad days and many tears and many moments where you want to lose hope, but absolutely nothing is better than that day where you can finally live your life as who you want to be.”


Zoshy’s story 

“I was around 8/9 when I first realised as I had feelings for a girl in my year. We kissed a few times but it was in the toilets as we didn’t want anyone knowing. I came out about it a couple years ago. My mum knows and she’s fine with it. I haven’t told my dad though.”

Zoshy’s advice to the community: 

“The stigma needs to be ended. Be proud for who you are and if people don’t like it then they aren’t worth your time.”

I know what you’re thinking when I say “California Inn” but I can assure you it’s something definitely different. 

When I was living on my own in my early 20s, I was still struggling to come out to everyone as transgender but I had already came out as bisexual so my way of escaping from the homophobic intolerant scene was going to Luton’s popular gay bar, California Inn on Chapel Street. 

For many years I have drunk, danced and singed at the California Inn and I have met a lot of gay and lesbian people and made a lot of LGBT+ friends. 

The California Inn has been around for over 10 years. They have a jukebox, DJ turntable, a mini bar, a dance floor, a karaoke machine and a garden for the smokers. 

A lot has changed since July, 2013. The only people I knew who worked at the California Inn aka “the Cali” were former owner Gerry, barmaid Dawn and DJ Fluffy. 

The California Inn has had a lot of drag queen shows as well as karaoke nights and parties. 

(World AIDS day event)

In my own personal experience, I’d say that the California Inn is probably the best bar to go to if you’re in Luton and just want a small night out.

Kink was a club I frequently visited but it had a few bad vibes which is probably why it got closed down permanently. 

I shared an amazing kiss in the parking lot across the road opposite the club that I will forever treasure and never forget.

Kink was next to Wellington Street near another gay club called “Flame”. 

Kink has been known to have a lot of dodgy clubbers, a lot of people felt quite uncomfortable which is why I only visited the club on just a few occasions. 

Flame has been the most successful gay club in Luton in Bedfordshire, it is also the biggest and safest gay club that has been around for many years.

The club has separate toilets but also a shared unisex toilet. There’s another dance floor and bar upstairs and downstairs is a dancing pole and a stage which features a lot of events.

It’s been a very long time since I last partied at Flame but I remember they had an event called “Drink the bar dry” where you pay £20.00 for a wristband and order as many drinks as you wanted but unfortunately the club would end up packed and it’d take almost forever to get a free drink.

Flame is open from 8pm – 12am on a Friday, 12am – 3:30pm on a Saturday which starts again around 8pm – 12am, the club is closed all day and night on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Flame is open from 8pm – 1:15am on a Thursday then on a Monday it’s 12pm – 1:15am.

Gay Scenes in Hull, East Yorkshire 

The Propaganda is one of Hull’s most popular and largest gay clubs near the city centre, just across from the restaurant Wings and near the interchange. 

The Propaganda has been known to be friendly and have many events.

Since last year, Hull was named the city of culture 2017. Hull has a large number of LGBT+ citizens and Leeds has a popular gender clinic which helps people transition. 

Lili Elbe aka “The Danish Girl” was the first recognisable person to have Gender Reassignment Surgery. Unfortunately in 1931 on September 13, Lili Elbe went into cardiac arrest and died after contracting an infection whilst undergoing a further operation to implant a uterus and reconstruct the vagina.

Channel 4 and 50 Years of Decriminalisation 

As part of celebrating Pride 2017 and celebrating 50 years of freedom, Channel 4 has been hosting a season of 50 Shades of Gay. So far we’ve had Britain’s Great Gay Buildings, Pop Pride and Prejudice and on Monday the 3rd of July at 10pm on Channel 4, Rupert Everett will be hosting the final programme, 50 Shades of Gay. Rupert Everett was best known for his role in the American comedy “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Rupert will be discussing the history homosexuality.

Men Included: A new support group and free charity for men’s rights

Men Included is about spreading awareness about domestic violence and domestic abuse towards men.

Not many people realise that men are just as much in danger as well as women. Straight heterosexual men are also victims of rape too. 

Men Included is to help teenage boys and adult men who are troubled.

There are a lot of crime cases where a man has been murdered by his wife and the public needs to be more aware.

A lot of people think society is sexist and it is because bad things are happening to men as well as women and not many people are aware of it but as from today that is going to change. Men need our help too.

A lot of men feel embarrassed or too ashamed to forward and report that they are being abused. As mentioned in my biography, I am bisexual and a lot of my ex-boyfriends have been involved with abusive relationships and have confined with me how awful it was and how they felt too humiliated to come forward and say something. I have tried almost everything to help my ex-boyfriends report the abuse they suffered but again they are too scared and feel ashamed to admit that they have been a victim of abuse.

Right now, women are allowed to do a background check on their partner thanks to Claire’s Law but what about the men who are unaware that their female partner may be an ex-criminal too? Ian Huntley’s former girlfriend is now under a new name and her current partner is unaware that she was arrested for perverting the court of justice and had been involved with the abduction and murder of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman when Ian Huntley had killed the two girls inside his home. Ian Huntley’s ex-partner had tried to help cover up his crimes and was arrested for doing so but her new boyfriend is unaware that she had been in prison and is a former criminal because men are unable to do a background check on their female partners.

Why are men not allowed to feel safe in their own homes as well as women? I’ve witnessed men being beaten up by their partners and it has gotten so bad that they needed to attend hospital for treatment for the injuries. 

The OC star Kelly Rowan starred as a wife to a kind-hearted Christian man and in the movie, he was murdered and before he was killed, he refused to report the domestic violence because he claimed to love his wife and as a Christian believed he could help her.

In an episode of the British talk show, Jeremy Kyle, a man came onto the show to seek help because he refused to leave his abusive girlfriend because he thinks he loves her, she admitted to beating him to Jeremy Kyle and the audience was in deep shock. 

Nick Pickard who plays Tony Hutchison in the popular British soap opera Hollyoaks had been part of a domestic violence storyline where Sarah Jayne Dunn played violent, cheating wife Mandy Richardson. Mandy had hit Tony with a glass and burned his arm with a boiling hot kettle, in self-defence, Tony had hit Mandy in the face leaving her with a black eye, after this Tony felt nothing but guilt and shame. Marcus Patric who played flirtatious Firefighter Ben Davies was shocked in the storyline when Ben had learned that Mandy had been beating a defenseless Tony.

A Chinese woman who caught her husband cheating twice had cut off his penis in his sleep and dropped it inside a garbage disposal in the kitchen sink to teach him a lesson. Even though the man had commit adultery, the act of violence was very unnecessary. 

The reason we no longer have death sentences in the UK is to prevent innocent people from being killed inside the justice system. Dereck Bentley was wrongfully accused for a death of a police officer after his friend misinterpreted “let him have it” and shot police constable Sidney Miles in the head. Dereck Bentley had a mental age of a child and was illiterate. Despite the never-ending campaigns and Dereck himself explaining what really happened, Dereck Bentley was hung at just 19 years old. A posthumous pardon was declared in 1993 and in 1998 the conviction was overturned but the family of Dereck Bentley still remain angry with the justice system for wrongfully executing Bentley.

It is true to say that no matter what, men will have a difficult time defending themselves towards women and won’t feel safe from their abusive relationships. I believe men should have a refuge centre for themselves and others.

Contacting me

I don’t know how to use Snapchat. Ever since WhatsApp changed, it’s hard to use, I have Kik but I don’t have many contacts. I used to use my vine account. 

The best way to reach me is by Twitter as I’m never off there. I am on YouTube as well but I stopped making vlogs. I have a Facebook account but it’s more for personal use only. 

A lot of people keep asking for ways to contact me so I’d suggest Twitter. I always respond to Tweets.

Why self-harm is a big regret and how things can change

Okay so I know you’re suffering inside, you’re hurting, you feel like there is no hope and no point in staying alive. I felt that way too and let me say this…

I regret self-harming because yes in the moment it does in some odd way feel like a relief but afterwards I look down at my arms and I see those scars and they are permanent reminders of those days I wanted to forget. 

I have approximately over 60+ scars and they actually make me feel a lot worse than I already did the day I hurt myself. 

Self-harm is only a temporary way to numb or block that pain out but I promise you, once it’s over, it’s only going to come back again. 

Today an officer who I thought was horrible actually did me a huge favour, she stopped me before I could do further damage and then I got to spend time with my family. My stepfather, he’s an amazing stepfather and I just only wish my mother had met him sooner rather than later because he never gave up on her, especially when she was at her worse, he stuck by her through thick and thin. 

My mother and I are always going clash, yes she’s scary and getting into a fight with her is like facing the She Hulk but she’s all I’ve got and my biological dad, he’ll always be my dad but he’s let me down on so many occasions and my mother, she’s done so much for me. I was in a horrible supported housing system in London, support workers would beat me up and would constantly have me arrested. When we got back in contact after years apart, she couldn’t believe the state I was in. I’ve never been able to look after myself and will always need help because even though I’m probably intelligent and independent in other people’s eyes, I’m really a very fragile human being. I’m lucky to have my mother because my father would have given up on me if I had been in his care and he has a new family, he doesn’t even acknowledge my existence these days. 

Why did I gave my mother a second chance? 

Sure I felt like I had more freedom without her and yes she’s said and done some things but haven’t we all? Bringing up a family in a broken home isn’t easy and having going through the stuff she went through was probably the most traumatising time ever. I’m amazed she’s still alive. She’s stubborn, bossy, annoying, embarrassing, demanding, selfish but she’s my mum and I wouldn’t way her any other way. She’s loved me from birth and sometimes I get paranoid and think she doesn’t love me but she does. She was the last person who didn’t give up on me along with my two amazing cousins. We only have 1 mum and 1 dad, I lost my dad the day he started a new family but I had my mum no matter what. 

Why friends are the best thing you could have?

I have more online friends than I have in person. Most are from my school and college, some are who I met through some websites I joined, some are people I’ve met through other people. My friends are the greatest people I’ve ever met, they are from different countries and understand me in many ways other can’t. We’d have laughs and share funny jokes and they love me unconditionally.

Why you should stop self-harming? 

I know it’s hard but there are people in much worse case scenarios and even though it’ll take away the pain for a little while, the pain will still be there and won’t go away. Life is going to suck and you are going to feel pain but it will go away eventually it is just unfortunate that it won’t go away as fast as you want it to.

Why I regret self-harming? 

I remember a time I was in hospital with my family and one of my youngest cousins started crying and she said “Why did you do that?”, I felt so angry with myself and I felt so bad for the pain I caused her. She loved me and looked up to me for years and I had let her down. I said to her “I won’t do it again” and I broke her promise.

How does mental illness affect your life?

Depression will eat away at you and it does destroy relationships. My family no longer want to speak to me because I snapped at them and I said a lot of horrible things I wish I could take back. I lost a sister, my only sister, I lost two aunts, I lost a cousin but most of all, I lost my identity. I was no longer myself and I was alone. I did it for personal reasons which I cannot disclose but what I did ruined my life forever. 

How do I manage to survive?

I live each day as if it were my last, I try to make each moment worth living for. If you can’t live for yourself then life itself is pointless, being human and being able to live is one of the most beautiful and valuable gifts you could ask for. That hipster saying “You only live once”, it’s true, you only get one life and you should make it last for as much as you can.

Photo credit ; Google Images™ 

(Jesus hugging a sad man in pain)

Why do I follow you?

Because you’re an awesome writer like me and believe everyone has potential. 

You may not know it but I read your posts in return when you like my posts and a lot of your work will some day in some way will change the world. 

I don’t judge anyone until I have the facts first. You have a creative mind so don’t give up, keep writing because I am reading.